He said I am a great stud
A stallion, a bloke
Thereís nothing I like better
Than giving girlies a good poke
I eat curry and drink lager,
hate sissy things like art,
like football, porn and violence;
I curse and belch and fart.
She said I want a strong man
Who will dominate and rule me
Not some weepy new - age wuss,
All that caring doesnít fool me.
He told her "I hate woofters too
I think they should be shot
So youíre the kind of girl for me
I fancy you a lot."
And as he took her to his flat
She gazed in adoration
How cruelly reality
Can shatter expectation
For when she tried to be affectionate
And placed his hand upon her thigh
He said "youíre just a cheap slut"
And gave her a black eye.
But still she thought she loved him
She loved his greasy, unwashed hair
Powerfully muscled shoulders,
And distressed underwear.
She told him "Iím your woman,
Iíll do anything you ask."
"He replied "I want a woman,
Who can be one of the lads."
So she dressed in jeans and T-shirt
but it was not enough
He told her "that mascara
Makes you look just like a pouf."
She said "I am your woman,
Please fill me every night"
So he took her to his local
And filled her up with pints.
She said "letís go out dancing"
He said "Youíll make me look a fool"
So she followed him to the pub again
And learned how to play pool
Finally he was pleased with her
She had put aside her girlie past
And he thought she was learning
To be a bloke at last.
She begged him "Please make love to me?
Our sex life is a farce."
So he bent her across the table
And screwed her boyish arse.