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Uptight - The Blood Donor Experience by fatsally
Once upon a time giving blood was easy, the atmosphere relaxed and people were encouraged to feel as is they were doing something good and worthwhile. Now, acording to fatsally's latest experience, a visit to the blood bank to offer a life saving armful is like The Prisoner meets Orwell's Big Brother. Bureaucracy has taken over and nobody is allowed to fel relaxed. Rules are rules.

Uptight
by fatsally
2010-09-02
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, non commercial, no derivs.
KEYWORDS: blood, donor, transfustion, health, nhs, hospital, doctor, nurse, bureaucracy, satire, humour, humor

Uptight by fatsally @ 2010-09-01 17:30:38 Just been along to blood donors.
I've been going for years.
Loads of changes have occured over the time.

The first time I went, to the NHS permanent centre in London, you could have a tin of Guinness as your post donating drink if you wished. A splendid idea but unfortunately it tended to attract the alcoholics, especially as licensing hours were much tighter then, pardon the pun but the relaxed attitudewas designed to put donors at ease. Now bureaucracy has taken over completely. Walk through that door and you might as well be in Port Merion, you're just an effing number.

No such thing as jut turning up these days, you are now encouraged to book appointments. On arriving at the donation centre you are met by a phalanx of NHS regulation, handgel and the insistance that you use it. I thought it was a bit pointless myself as I sat there with a book bought from a secondhand shop so goodness knows how many millions of germs on that.

The next new operational procedure was to ask me if I wanted a cold drink. I politely declined, having just had a cup of coffee before I left the house. But then it turns out it is not optional, I was told I really should have a drink even if it was only water. Hackles up, heels in, I wouldn't have had a drink at that point if i'd just run the four miles in to town.

Now you have to sign in, where they check your personal details and detach the signed health and lifestyle queastionnaire, then you are directed to wait until a "donor carer" calls you into a cubicle and goes all through the questions again, admittedly with one or two extras thrown in, this time it was had I had a smallpox jab within the last eight weeks, then they do the fingerprick test and then you are despatched to wait again.

When you are called to a bed they check your details again then ask if you are well for the third time in half an hour. Then they have to apply antiseptic to the inner elbow for two minutes. Originally a doctor used to come and do the needle insertion, then they had a specially trained nurse, but now any of the "donor carers" seem to do the job.

They also have dinky machines that monitor the flow of the blood and agitate the collecting bags to stop the blood congealing. Technology eh?

Once upon a time, when you'd given your armful, they removed the needle, stuck a plaster on and sent you for a cup of tea.

Now they ask if you are allergic to plasters, you have to remain supine for five minutes, then they help you to a sitting position but you have to keep your legs on the bed for 10 minutes. Then you can swing your legs over the side and you have to stay like that for a further 5 minutes. Then they load you down with cards containing advice on what to do if you feel dizzy, faint, your arm doesn't stop bleeding, oh everything and send you off for a drink.

But the most interesting thing was the card they handed to all donors as they lay on the bed, needle poking out of arm and donor carer filling endless test tubes with blood.

Exercises to be carried out during and after the donation.

These exercises consist of clenching the buttocks.

Relaxing the buttocks.

Only relax the buttocks half way.

Hold the buttocks clenched for ten seconds - all this while wiggling your fingers to keep the blood flowing.

Repeat all the time you are donating and recovering.

Apparently it stops your blood pressure falling, so prevents dizziness and fainting. Who knew?

Anyway at least now I know why they say people are stressed are UPTIGHT.

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Navratilova predictably attracted a lot of hate attacks from left wing idiots and transgender fascists back in December 2018 when she tweeted: “You can't just proclaim yourself a female and be able to compete against women.

Doctors admit vaccines are harmful and turn our immune systems against us
The World Health Organization (WHO) recently included vaccine skeptics – people who are hesitant to vaccinate themselves or their children because they are concerned about the potential health risks – on their annual along with serious dangers like superbugs, climate change, the Ebola virus, HIV and air pollution. The WHO claims that “vaccine hesitancy” increases the risk of a resurgence in diseases they claim are fully preventable through vaccination.

Spanish Socialist Budget Fails As Budget Rejected; New Elections Expected


We predicted lasat year when the socialist leader Pedto Sancjez usurped the Spanish government after the collapse of the minority government led by Mariano Rajoy collapsed, could not last. In a widely expected but destabilizing development, Spanish conservatives and pro-independence Catalonians voted to back a slate of amendments to a government budget on Wednesday by a wide margin of 191 votes out of 350,

Project Fear: NHS Stockpiling Body Bags As No Deal Brexit Looms

Those who hold democracy in contempt and will do anything they possible can, legal or otherwise, to overturn the Referendim result and keep us in the EU have just come over all Spinal Tap and turned the Project Fear fake news generator up to eleven. Ever since the reult of the 2016 Brexit referendum was anounced, the scare stories about the dire consequences of leaving the EU have broken in mainsytream news seemingly at a rathe onf one a minute.

Big Data is here, How do we protect our privacy?"


If you haven't heard of Big Data you either haven't been living on this planet or you're an ostrich and bury your head in the sand. Bid data when coupled with Artificial Intelligence can, we are told, tell us how busy the shops are long before the accountants had added up the months takings, how much metal the big warehouses are hoarding or whether office space is in high demand in a particular area.

BBC Journalist Allegedly Likens Working Class Men to ‘Amazonian Cannibals’
It's always entertaining when lefties forget they are supposed to believe in equality, tolerance and diversity and show what nasty little snobs they really are. BBC political magazine show Panorama’s John Sweeney is reported to have been caught referring to working-class men as being like “cannibals from Amazonia” in an undercover video released by leftie hate figure, former EDL leader Tommy Robinson.

Mother Arrested in Front of Children for Calling Trans Activist a Man
In the UK's latest and probably looniest example of politically correct fascism, police arrested a mother in the presence of her children. Her Crime? She called a male to female transexual a man on Twitter. 38-year-old Kate Scottow, told reporters she was “arrested in my home by three officers, with my ten-year-old daughter and 20-month-old son present” in comments posted to the Mumsnet online forum,

European Union Goes The Full Nine Orwells
Some years ago a bloogger we know created an award for government and corporate schemes involving misinformation, censorship or fake narratives. The Golden Orwells were given to any story revealing suppression or distortion of truth that registered on our Orwell-Huxley-Dick dystopianometer (OHD) scale, named in honour of the three twentieth century prophets of social decay ...

Germany Rejects Yazidi Asylum Seekers Fleeing Persecution By Islamic Extremists
The EU’s largest nation and most powerful economy, which righteously lecturs other EU member states on the need to take refugees and asylum seekers, is taking in fewer Yazidi refugees, according to a German newspaper report. The religious minority was terrorized by the “Islamic State” during the militant group’s campaign in Iraq and Syria and hundreds, possibly thousands of Yazidi women were raped and used as sex slaves by IsIS terrorists.

Germany Rejects Yazidi Asylum Seekers Fleeing Presecution By Islamic Extremists Germany, with its ruling elite of hand wringing, breast beating, teeth - gnashing, politically correct virtue signallers is showing its true colours as, in common with neighbour Sweden, a hypocritical regime that will give Muslims a free pass to rapoe and kill (because they've been persectued,) but will not act to protect minorities persecuted by extremist governments in counties run by Islamic fundamentalists. The EU's largest nation and most powerful economy, which righteously lecturing other EU member states on the need to take refugees and asylum seekers, is taking in fewer and fewer Yazidi refugees, according to a German newspaper report.

Fiat News Threat To Truth
Exposing The False Virtue Of Fact-Check Journalism
Hot on the tail of Fake News, we now have fiat news, which is nothing to do with an Italian car maker whose name is an acronym for Fix It Again Tony. This new type of unrelibable news is news which broadly cheapens the credibility of media by presenting opinion as fact. It debases information in the same way that a capricious tyrant might debase a currency. It tells you how to think.

'Special place in hell' for Brexiteers, says Donald Tusk
Though he is despised in his own country for the way he sold out to the EU, former Polish leader Donald Tusk released an astounding attack on Theresa May as she toured Northern Ireland. Tusk held nothing back on Wednesday when commenting on Brexit. Tusk tweeted: "I've been wondering what that special place in hell looks like, for those who promoted #Brexit, without even a plan how to carry it out safely."

Google Paid More In EU Fines Than Taxes Last Year; Whines About New Privacy Laws One of today's more amusing news items revealed Google paid more in European fines than in taxes on their corporate profits, according to the firm's fourth-quarter earnings report. Google parent Alphabet reported Q4 revenues for the search engine operator of $39.28 billion, up 22%, while revenues for the year were up 23% to $136.8 billion. Taxes in Q4 were $4.2 billion.

The Full Nine Orwells
How The EU Abandoned The Concept Of Truth

Though we were forwarned of what was to come, the EU has now launched its Action Plan against Disinformation. Based on the ideas of French boy president Emmanuel Macron, the plan's purpose, is apparently to "protect its democratic systems and public debates from disinformation ahead of the 2019 European elections. And M. Macron, with the backing of the EU, intends to spread the authoritarian EU's propaganda the incontrovertible truths that there is no dissatisfaction with EU policy except in Britain and Italy ... and Hungary ...... and Poland and ...,

Fiat News Threat To Truth
Exposing The False Virtue Of Fact-Check Journalism
Hot on the tail of Fake News, we now have fiat news, which is nothing to do with an Italian car maker whose name is an acronym for Fix It Again Tony. This new type of unrelibable news broadly cheapens the credibility of media by presenting opinion as fact. There is a certain type of fiat news, however, which should be denounced where it rears its head ...

Google Paid More In EU Fines Than Taxes Last Year; Whines About New Privacy Laws
One of today's more amusing news items revealed Google paid more in European fines than in taxes on their corporate profits, according to the firm's fourth-quarter earnings report. Holding company Alphabet of which Google is a subsidiary, reported Q4 revenues for the search engine operator of 39.28 billion, up 22%, while revenues for the year were up 23% to $136.8 billion. Taxes in Q4 were $4.2 billion.

'Special place in hell' for Brexiteers, says Donald Tusk


Though he is despised in his own country for the way he sold out to the EU, former Polish leader Donald Tusk, now EU Council President, released an astounding attack on Theresa May as she toured Northern Ireland. His comments were condemned by the unionist DUP party, which wants to nix the only thing the EU and UK agree on.

January 2019

US Democrats Supernut Proposes Green - Politically Correct New Deal
Alexandria Ocasdio - Cortez is a truly wonderous human being. The newly inaugurated congress woman for a New York district manages to simultaneously sit on every green or politically correct bandwagon currently rolling even though, like the rest of us, she only has one arse. In her latest delusional outburst this darling of brain - fried millennials claims to have formulated a way to fix environmental problems and abolish racism. And it only involves spending $$$ a few trillion.

Latests EU Attack On Italy's Salvini Shows The Elite Are Scared
A court in Sicily has allowed proceedings against Italian Eurosceptic leader of The League and all-around pain-in-the-arse for The Davos Crowd, Matteo Salvini. In what must be one of the most ludicrous EU efforts to silence nationalist leaders ahead of elections to the European Parliament, judges rul