Jenny Greenteeth
Boggart Blog Back Catalogue by
Ian Thorpe
Humour /Humour /Satire/Food/ television
Boggart Blog has been the top independent comedy and satirical blog in the UK for several years
It can be hard to find our old posts so we provide this page with a scrolling menu to help you look up our back numbers. Boggart Blog has been consistently funny so it is worth exploring.

MAIN PAGES [Index] ... [Boggart Blog Central] ... [The Daily Stirrer] ... [Comedy] ... [Humanitas] ... [Philo & Sophia]
Creative Commons: Some rights reserved (non commercial, attrib, no derivs.
All reproductions in whole or in part should acknowledge Ian R Thorpe as author of this works and link to Greenteeth Multi Media Productions ......... e-mail us:

740 x 90 banner image only



Osama Bin Laden Planned Easter Bomb Campaign In the latest attempt to convince a sceptical world that the man who (allegedly) is the first perfect human being in 2000 years did something really miraculous in personally leading a team of US Navy Seals to a run down apartment in Pakiskan where they killed an elderly man who looked a bit, but not much like the world's most ...

Not a lot of activity today but and Boggart Blog Archive #5 > are the latest of our pages to get the revamp treatment.

Greenteeth UK Home
Greenteeth Multi Media's UK home is back online today after a major revamp. Many audio and video itemsthat have been inaccessible since the domain was corrupted are now available once more.

Life Expectancy Rises By 44 Days In One Year
Science frenetically seeks ways to kep us alive longer. Last year alone life expectancy increased by 44 days. But does living loner make us happier or does longevity createmore social problems for a civilisation already in trouble.

House Prices Predicted To Fall Further New of a further drop in mortgage lending in March and April 2011 will surprise nobody. The Council of Mortgage lenders reported gross lending fell to £9.8 billion in April, down from £11.4 billion in March, and 5 per cent lower than a year ago.

Theosophy For Beginners Theosophy is an almost forgotten belief system now although it was only founded in the nineteenth century. Theosophy is based on the ideas of Helena Blavatsky and while it drawns on the ancient wisom found in Hindu, Budhist and Zoroastrian teachings it is fully compatible with Protestant, Catholic and Orthodox versions of Christianity as well as Jewish and Muslim beliefs.

Sub Atomic Girl and A New Discovery In Physics
A new discovery in physics, the existence of a previously unsuspected sub atomic particle has the world of science and scientists in a tizzy. But are they really onto something big, something that might help unlock the secrets of the universe and reveal the true nature of matter, gravity, protons, antimatter and other stuff. Or are they getting over - excited yet again.

UK Inflation Soars Again
Latest figures from the treasury show inflation has risen again, by half a percentage point to 4.5pc. The consumer price index (CPI), the Government's official measure of inflation, accelerated at its fastest rate since 2008, far outstripping economists' predictions of a 0.1 percentage point rise.

Dominic Strauus Kahn taken to New York's Notorious Riker's Island Jail. The head of the International Monetary Fund Dominic Strauss Kahn has been refused bail and remanded in custody by an American court after being arrested in New York following allegations of sexual abuse. Mr Strauss-Kahn was transferred from a detention centre attached to the

IMF Chief Arrested
The news that Dominic Strauss Kahn, head of the International Monetary Fund and French Presidential hopeful has been arrested in New York on charges of sexual assault dominates front pages today. Mr. Strauss Kahn was remanded pending medical examination but whether he is charged or not his arrest is ...

Obama Threatens US Debt Default If Government Not Allowed To Borrow Money To Pay Debt Interest
You just have to look on slack jawed that the antics of Barack Obama, putative President of the United States of America, one known as the most powerful nation on earth but now due to several decades of politically correct thinking in high places and just two years of this half - educated clown at the helm a laughing stock internationally and the despair of ...

Google and Skype Wage War On Your Individuality
As the stream of propaganda continues to flow over us bearing the message that technology is progress, the internet will change everything for the better and that anyone who dissents is anti social and anti progress, technology consultant Ian R Thorpe warns we must be prepared to fight for our individualism against operators like google and skype whose message is: the machines are smater than you ...

Meat and Milk From Clones To Be Sold To The Public - Not Dangerous Just More Science Control Freakery
An item that caught our eyes and ears in today's news reported that the Food Standards Agency has published its final recommendation on the controversial issue of whether consumers should be allowed to buy meat and dairy products from cloned animals or the offspring of cloned animals ...

Far From Being A Bastion Of Freedom Twitter Is An Intolerant And Elitist Environment
Twitter community members ot twitterers as they are known like to present themselves as fair minded, liberal, tolerant and supportive of the right of free speech. Ian R Thorpe suggests they are anything but. The twitter community he suggests is illiberal, intolerant and elistist and anyone who strays off message will suffer the wrath of the politically correct thought police ...

Regulator's Concern Over Falling Education Standards.

The regulatory body Ofqual will shortly announce an inquiry into allegations made by university managers and employers' associations that the examinations taken by hundreds of thousands of secondary school pupils each year are getting easier. The investigation which will be the the most wide ranging the education watchdog ...

Tommy Clod - A comic verse about dumbing down

Volunteer Force Of 100,000 To Get Millions More Online
When Prime Minister David Cameron asked internet entrepreneur (bankrupt) Marth Lane Fox to head up a government sponsored volunteer force to promote the joys of internet technology to the 8 million Britons who do not have internet access - and perhaps to the tens of millions who do have access but detest the internet it smacked of an attempt to brainwash us. Fortunately Dave is technically illiterate and does not know his digital champion is more famed for her failures than successes ...

Taliban Revenge For The Killing Of Osama bin Laden Begins

The Pakistani Taliban were quick to claim responsibility for the double bomb attack that killed over 80 people in that country yesterday. Their message to the media said bigger attacks were to follow. A suicide bomber on a motorbike struck at the gates just as young recruits boarded buses to ...

Bank Of England Hints At Rate Rise Soon
The Bank of England Monetary Policy Committee has said its central forecast in updated predictions for the economy is that inflation will return to the 2pc target over the next two years if interest rates ae raised when markets expect. That prepares the way for the Bank’s benchmark ...

Volunteer Force Of 100,000 To Get Millions More Online
Prime Minister David Cameron and the government's information technology adviser Martha Lane Fox and have unveiled a new initiative to extend a network of digital champions to evangelise the joys of the internet and persuade more people to get online to do business, socialise and seek entertainment.

What Differentiantes A Sceptic And A Conspiracy Theorist
In comments on this thread on this article 'The Birthers Become Deathers' many people were complaining about the way 'conspiracy theorist has become an implicit accusation of stupidity aimed by the sheeple who follow wherever big govrernment leads at those who ask intelligent questions, point to inconsistencies in evidence and ...

Five Gallons Of Cheeseburger With Fries Please
After all those health warnings from finger wagging scientists in the pay of Nanny State we are now told junk food is not only good for us but for the planet too.. One of Britain's biggest green petrol companies has revealed is now reprocessing not just used fat from commercial fryers but chips, burgers pies and pasties, cheese and anything lardy to make fuel for cars and ...

Bin Laden: Al Qaeda Vows Revenge On The West
Interesting - and unorthodox - take on the past week by Rush Limbaugh, the high-profile Right-wing "shock jock" and host of the highest-rated talk show on American radio.
He accused the New York Times of exaggerating the importance of bin Laden - in an attempt to make Obama look good for ...

Climate Change and the Population Explosion
In all the debates about climate change and the effect of carbon dioxide emissions on the environment there is one issue that has a huge bearing on humanity's relationship with our planet that neither politicians nor scientists will discuss. Population growth. So a philosopher has to step up to the mark and ask why people are encouraged to have children when we face so many population related problems?

Smoke and Mirrors Blur Inflation Statistics Leading economist Simon Ward has accused The Bank of England of using "smoke and mirrors" to present official forecasts for inflation. With the annual rate of price rises currently double the official target at 4pc and showing signs it will keep rising, the Bank's central projection that the rate should return to 2pc next year is looking like pure fantasy. Mr. Ward, chief economist of global investment fund Henderson's, thinks the Bank is ...

Sony Takes On Apple In Tablet Wars
Tablet PCs have become the main drivers of growth for many electronics companies. The Japanese consumer electronics giant Sony is the latest contender to announce a foray into the market, unveiling two new devices [ ... ]Sales of tablet PCs have been booming globally, led by the success of Apple's latest triumph of hype over substance, the overpriced and ...

Central Banks Print Money But Fail To End Crisis
The world's central banks have pumped £3 trillion into the global economy since the beginning of the financial crisis in 2008. This represents the equivalent of 8pc of the world economy, according to an analysis by Fathom Consulting. The figures will intensify fears that the extra cash flooding the system is ...

New Economic Headache For Obama
The scale of the slowdown in US growth this year will be underlined by new figures to be released this week. The statistics will raise more questions about whether the world's biggest economy can regain momentum. High growth rates in recent quarters have been due solely to the Obama administration's loonytoons economic policy of printing money to try and ...

The Roots Of The US Economy's Collapse
John de Roe analyses the American economic crisis, the credit crunch and the collapse of the sub prime mortgage markey and looks at how the American government's efforts to solve the crisis and avoid a recession may affect the global economy ...

Bin Laden Death Pics: Pressure Grows On Obama
The raid on the compound in Pakistan in which the world's most wanted man, Osama bin Laden was killed is rapidly turning into a public relations disaster for US President Barack Obama. As the White House is forced to back off from its initial gung ho reports of bravery by the US President (who tried to give the impression he was somehow directly involved in the action) and the team of ...

The War Between Science and Religion
When cosmologist Martin Rees was awarded the Templeton Prize for scientific work enhancing the spiritual side of life the militant atheists reacted with predicatable angry intolderance. Their intolerant attitude seems to have done more to harm the scientific community than to turn paople against faith and religion.

The Human Cost Of Our Cheap Fashions
In the west we have lived the good life for many years, taking for granted the cheap clothes and low cost consumer goods we inmport from the poor nations of the third world. There is a hidden human cost of our comforable lifestyles however. Third World workers, clothing workers in particular, are employed under conditions that amount to slavery in everytthing but name. Even so the hand wringing, tree hiuggers of the progressive left are happy to enjoy what's provided by the hardship of those wage-slave workers while lecturing less idealistic people about the evils of Europe's slave trade which ended 200 years ago.

White House Backtracks On How Bin Laden Died Initial claims that the al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden had died while firing an automatic weapon at commandos were withdrawn, with President Barack Obama’s spokesman admitting “he was unarmed”. Another claim that bin Laden was 'a coward to the end' and a dramatic description of him using a woman alleged to be his his wife as a “human shield” and forcing ...

The Madness Of The Carbon Accounting System
The climate science cult is in disarray. The lie of their claim 'the science is settled' has been exposed, the symbol of their religion, the holy hockey stick has been turned to matchwood. And yet governments keep plugging away at the need to reduce emissions but at the same time urge us to act in ways that will make the real problem worse.
Also: Environment Minister In Green Energy Technology Funding Fight With The Treasury
Chief Of Climate Science Crooks And Liars Under Pressure To Resign

Nobody Expects The Spanish Inquisition - The Suppression Of The Cathar Heresy
From our History Menu: Many maverick scholars of Chiristian history have said the form of Chistian worship practiced by the so called Cathars in Southern France and Northern Spain in the early years of the thirteenth century was closer to the spirit of Jesus's teachings than any of the organised religions with their dogmas and creed. So why was the Catholic Church so determined noy just to suppress what they called a the heresy but to exterminate every last one of its followers?

Obama Releases Birth Certificate But It Will Not Save His Presidency by James Dahlberg
US President Barack Hussein Obama has made an unexpected intervention in an attempt to end “birther” campaign questioning his eligibility to serve as POTUS. The President, after being dogged by doubts about his citizenship status for two years finally released a copy of his original birth certificate which ...

Britain On Edge Of A Double Dip Recession?
The eagerly awaited figures for GDP growth in the first three months of the year were published yesterday. The disappointing news was that the UK economy grew only 0.5pc in the first quarter of 2011, the Office for National Statistics (ONS) revealed. This rate of expansion in economic activity does no more than offset the 0.5pc contraction in the final quarter of 2010. “Excluding the impact of the snow in December, the preliminary GDP figures suggest that the economy has ...

Syria Sends Tanks Into Daraa On the day that William (The Mekon) Hague announced with an honesty refreshing in a politician that we are in Libya 'for the long haul' the latest news from Syria suggests that country is moving towards civil war too. Let's hope our politicans have the moust to sense what is happening in the middle east and keep us out of ...

Central Banks Print Money But Fail To End Crisis The world's central banks have pumped £3 trillion into the global economy since the beginning of the financial crisis in 2008. This represents the equivalent of 8pc of the world economy, according to an analysis by Fathom Consulting. The figures will intensify fears that the extra cash flooding the system is responsible for rising stock markets, rather than any ...

Saudi Arabia Oil Price Fears The world's largest oil producer, Saudi Arabia, is concerned about high oil prices and their impact on the global economy, the chief executive of state oil firm Aramco has said. Oil prices fell on Tuesday, in part after ...

Sony Takes On Apple In Tablet Wars
Tablet PCs have become the main drivers of growth for many electronics companies. The Japanese consumer electronics giant Sony is the latest contender to announce a foray into the market, unveiling two new devices. The gadgets will use ...

Poetry Past Masters. A new section opens in the Greenteethmm poetry library. The poests of the seventeenth, eighteenth and nineteenth centuries have stood the test of time, still being preferred by most readers to the stuff churned out by contemporary poets. So if you enjoy a traditional poem try this varied selection.

Smoke and Mirrors Inflation Statistics
Leading economist Simon Ward has accused The Bank of England of using "smoke and mirrors" to present official forecasts for inflation. With the annual rate of price rises currently double the official target at 4pc and showing signs it will keep rising, the Bank's central projection that the rate should return to 2pc next year is looking like pure fantasy.

New Economic Headache For O' Bummer
The scale of the slowdown in US growth this year will be underlined by new figures to ber released this week. The statistics will raise more questions about whether the world's biggest economy can regain momentum. High growth rates in recent quarters have been due solely to the Obama administration's loonytoons economic policy of printing money to try and cover the burgeoining deficit.

Life Expectancy Rises By 44 Days In One Year
Longevity is now accelerating so rapidly experts are talking about humans reaching 'escape velocity', with our life expectancy rising by more than a day for every day we live. A baby born this year will, on average, live for more than 90 years and nine months according to a news study published yesterday.

Is It A Bird, Is It A Plane? No, Its SuperGordon
Despite two opinion polls at the weekend both showing that Labour has fallen to an all time low with the voting public, and worse than that, have now dropped below the Liberal Democrats, Gordon Brown says he will not be forced out of office to make way...

Breaking News: Britain's Got Talent Sensation
The story has just landed on the Boggart Blog news desk and we cnnot conform the details yet but we are hearing some senational revelations about Britain's Got Talent runner up Susan How Much Worse Can Things Get?
The government, as always anxious to meddle in the minutae of our lives, health, lifestyle, diet, exercise, drink etc. resurrects a plan for compulsay mass medication, this time giving us all drugs to lower blood pressure whether you have high blood pressure or not. A mother is to have her baby taken for adoption having been branded too stupid to be a mother. On the same day news that 800 Britons are on the waiting list to visit a Swiss suicide clinic. How much worse can things get...

Boycotting Britain's Got Talent
Tonight I will rob myself of several good posts over the next few days by boycotting Britain's Got Talent. Why? Because not only is the final crammed with dance acts, child acts and dancing child acts, there also is not very much talent evident. A FULL GUIDE TO RECENT POSTS ON GREENTEETH MULTI MEDIA & BOGGART BLOG - BRITAINS FUNNIEST SATIRICAL BLOG

You Live, You Die: In Between You May As Well Have A Ciggy.
As the government bombards us at an ever accelerating rate with propaganda about health, lifestyle, diet, exercise, drink and just about everything else, people just become more immune to all the scare stories. It has reached a level now where dire warnings of ill health resulting from smoking, drinking alcohol, using recreational drugs...

Something Rotten in The State Of Denmark
We though it would be President Bush (in the middle east with a cruise missile for fans of Cluedo) but in the end it was a Danish artist with a pencil and sketchpad. It seems a trgically trivial way to highlight the irreconcilable differences between east and west but a set of cartoons depicting the prophet Mohammed (PBOH) have led to the...

Obama Prepares To Conker The World
U.S. President Barack Obama seems to have lost interest in domestic politics and the realities of the economic crisis and the global recession. People familiar with Obama's track record will be aware that every time he has been elected top an office, state congresss, US senate...

Favourite Boy Ever wondered what happened to that little shit who made your life misery in school, the little shit who was fortunate enought to be good at the school sport which gave him immunity from any rule or sanction. He was the bully but anyone who fought back was punished. He stole the nerd's homework project and copied it but the nerd was accused of copying. Such people teach us a valuable lesson of course, authority will always favour those who kiss its arse.

Brother Bastion
Not much in the way of new posts and comments today as we have been getting our first music page online. Follow the link to hear sample tracks by singer songwriter Brother Bastion. The Brother Bastion page also has a link to the iTunes store where you can buy his latest mini album online.

Practical Sex Education For Schools
Most subjects in the school curriculum include a practical element so why mot sex education. Boggart Blog's fatsally suggests a radical approach to teaching the practical side of sex as opposed to pure theory. [ Humour ]

Dr. Strangelove's Secret Bacon Butty Weapon
As the science versus faith debate revs up again it seems a good time to bring back online dome of the posts on Little Nicky Machiavelli blog in which a logician challenged those who would elevate science to the status of a religion. [ Humour ]

Sheep Burp, Cows Fart And The Government Has Pie In The Sky
Given the success of previous campaigns which aimed to alter the public's artey clogging, alcohol abusing, binge drinking, chain smoking, obesity inducing, unsafe shagging promiscuous lifestyles; and also given that this Government now finds... [ Boggart Blog ]

Liberal Guilt Trippers Hurt Africa
African writer and polymath explains ideas explored in her book "Dead Aid" which suggestts foreign aid to African nations actually obstructs progress

McDonalds Bollocks Fat Customers
The fast food chin has instructed its staff to "scold obese customers. Hypocrisy or what?

In search of The Hum
Intrigued by stories reporting the return of The Hum, the mysterious low - frequency sound heard all around the country since the 1940s we spent yesterday investigating. Suggested causes we followed up included wind blowing through

HMS Discovery: the BNP's Election Battleship?
It seems the decision of The London Assembly to invite BNP councillor Richard Barnbrook to The Queen’s Buck House garden party was a bit of a faux pas especially as Barnbrook decided to take along as his guest....

What's the daftest thing you ever heard? How about a bunch of hippie scientists and weirdie-beardies trying to recreate the jurney of the Bluestone sarsens from the quarry in the Preseli mountains, Wales to Stonehenge. Daft eh? But doing it with styrofoam blocks instead of granite, that just does not make sense. Did You See That?
Have you ever seen something strange in the sky, something that was there for a split second then after you blinked it was gone. We're not talking about UFO's or hallucinations here but weird shapes, like the primitive amorphous creatures that live in the ocean depths only bigger and airborne.

Lost Weekend
You are seeking solitude in a small reote hotel. There is only one other guest, the solitude seekers worst nightmare, an evangelical vegan cyclists. Is there any way you can escape?

Some people you just have to insult
Regular readers may have noticed Boggart Blog is no supporter of politicaly correct thinking. it is a special treat then when some sumg, self righeous, whiney little nork turns up and leaves a comment on an old blog post berating

Rich Bankers
I've just had an interesting conversation with a chap from my bank. And it is my bank, and yours too, we're majority share holders I believe, because my bank took on millions of pounds worth of debt from people who couldn't afford to pay and had to come and ask our representatives in Parliament for a handout of our money...CLICK HERE to read Rich Bankers

Truth about missing link revealed (Boggart Blog exclusive)
There has been a lot of excitement about Ida, the 47 million year old fossil found in a primeval bog in Germany. Paleontologists from the world’s leading Universities are in a right old kerfuffle about...CLICK HERE to read more about Missing Link.

The Education Quiz

How well educated do you think you are. Take this test at boggart Blog Central and find out how you score

An American Recession How the American economy and by association the world's industrial nations cannot recover while the dollar remains in freefall.

Wet Dry Stoned Wallers
Oh I do love the sights you see in the countryside. I was on a trek up a fell on the back side of Buttermere once, a pretty but steep route, when I came across a Men At Work sign and sure enough, as I crested the next rise there was a little gaggle of men in hi-vis jackets and hard hats leaning on their shovels and...
READ ALL Wet Dry Stoned Wallers

The Party Of The Second Hand Car Salesman
In days of yore which in politics is not as long ago as one might think, Labour was known as the party of the working class. Not any more it seems, the bulk of insults being thrown at Labour in the wake of the bag O’ Shite scandal are being thrown by those once reliable Labour voters, the working class...
READ ALL The Party Of Second hand Car Salesmen

The Unhappiest Children In The World
According to scientists (and we should not believe everything scientists tell us) britain and the USA, two of the most materially wealthy nations in the world, have the unhappiest children. While reserving a little scepticism for such claims we ought to be concerned....

Is It Wrong To Ridicule Faith
There has been an increase in militancy in recent years on both sides of the God versus Science debate. Some people seem determined to establish science as The One True Church, others demand legal sanction on people who make jokes about their religion.

Bilderberg Bastards
One of the most important meeings in the world, The Bilderberg Group, took place over 6 days up to the 18 May. This group comprised of the world's leading politiciand businessmen and financiers meets annually but little is known and even less reported of what goes on. Why is that do you think?

Shock! Horror! You Mean It Wasn't True? by fatsally
Little Alfie Patten, thirteen going on seven year old, is said to be devastated that DNA tests have proved he is not the father of 'girlfriend' Chantelle Stedman's daughter, Maisie.
Alfie claimed, or at least whoever was manipulating him did, that he had been going out with Chantelle for two years, that she had been a virgin and that he was the only boy she had slept with.
However there then followed a parade of teenaged boys claiming that they had...READ MORE

Labour MP’s Food Bill: Fat Cat or Fat Bastard. More Bad News For Conservatives.
We would like to move on from the MP’s expenses scandal, we really would but the stories that keep being revealed present satirical bloggers with such wide open goals it would be a crime to miss them (unless you are a Newcastle United striker in which case it is par for the course,)

Does Multiculturalism Work? (Eurovision Song Contest) by ianrthorpe @ 2009-05-18 – 18:31:46 Does Multiculturalism work? Three words, Eurovision effing Song Contest. This geriatric schlockfest was one of the first attempts to create a single European culture. The two things it created are a forum in which petty grudges and resentments can be maintained at a low level (when what is really needed

You Can't Keep A Good Nutter Down
Some people just can't help themselves, they have to stand and shout, "LOOK AT ME" any and every chance they get. So it is with defrocked vicar Neil Horan.
He first came to public notice at the Atlanta Olympics when he grabbed the leading runner

NHS and the Tyranny Of The bottom Line
Budgets are important in healthcare, without financial control health spending can become a bottomless pit. But haven't things gone too far when accountants have to be consulted on clinical decisions.

Will You be Mugged By Labours Stealth Taxes?
The Daily Stirrer exposes a Labour plan to tax peoples' retirement savings at 85%. Save £1,000,000 and your descendents end up inheriting £170,000. Pass the champagne, we may as well enjoy ourselves and be a burden on the state in our old age.

Dark Forces Are At Work In Downing Street
We have a right to expect our elected representatives to act in the interests of the voters and the nation. Increasingly it seems dark, unseen forces are at work in the seats of government. Who controls these forces, The Illuminati, The Bilderberg Group, a conspiracyy of world domination freaks?

Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times? Ooer Missis.
Here in Britain we have not been much aware of the storm that has blown up around the winner of the Miss California beauty contest.
What kicked it all off was this: when contestant Carrie Prejean...
CLICK HERE to read all Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times? Ooer Missis.

Fart Flavoured Snacks
We know everything is going to shite but are the British public ready for fart flavoured snacks? This is not traditional farty smelling snacks such as Dry Roast Peanuts we are talking about, they actually taste quite peanutty once the fart sealed inside the bag as a preservative has been released. Neither are we talking about Bombay Mix which provides...
CLICK HERE to read all Fart Flavoured Snacks

Escalator Crime Escalates
The Barnsley Chronicle (Town Edition) features pictures on its front page of two elderly gentleman who have apparently had a bit of a coming together with a rogue escalator.
Jack Faulkner, the earliest victim commented, "Someone is going to get killled...
CLICK HERE to read all Escalator Crime Escalates

Positive Reinforcement A Labour plan to encourage weight loss by giving incentives in the form of gift vouchers to fat people to lose weight could actually be seen by the aquisitive as an incentive to get fat, thus earning rewards. All the scheme proves is that the government is insane...

The Apprentice: Margate Falls Into Sere And Yellow Leaf. Not! by ianrthorpe @ 2009-05-14 – 19:25:40 Blind to the credit crunch, deaf to the cries of the dispossessed as hunger bites, oblivious to the Swine Flu, contestants in The Apprentice last night went down to Margate having been given the task of rebranding the tired, tawdry, run – down resort. Rebranding, that’s when you, like, don’t change anything, you just get

Lib Dems Expenses Claims Fail To Impress. The fervid anticipation preceding the release of Liberal Democrats dodgy expenses claims turned into a sense of disappointment today as the embarrassing items we had hoped to see were absent. Where, for example, were the invoices for 5000 gallon tankers of Vodka delivered to Charlie Kennedy’s second home or the bill...
CLICK HERE to read Lib Dems Expenses Claims Fail To Impress

Revenge On The Trouser Snake A word of warning to the boys, we know you have to sit on the loo, but it could be best to look before you dump. A chap went off to the loo, presumably with the Sunday paper for a nice, long, commune with nature...

CLICK HERE to read Revenge On The Trouser Snake>

The Feeding Of The Fifty Million Conservative and independent critics of the freespending ways of Barack Obama and his Magic band are wondering how the three and a half trillion dollars the new President has already committed itself to spending can possibly...
CLICK HERE to read
The Feeding Of The Fifty Million From A Bag O’Shite To A Chandelier And Back. Yesterday’s report on the Bag O’Shite MPs’ expenses scandal concluded with the promise we would bring you further and even more astounding revelations about the bizarre expenses claims made by Members of Parliament.
Today we honour our promise...
CLICK HERE to read From A Bag O' Shite To A Chandelier And Back

The Party's Over
With Labour in complete disarray and the Conservatives enmired in the Bag O' Shite scandal the upcoming European and Local elections offer a unique opportunity for radicals, freethinkers and borderline loonies to deliver some shocks to the smug, self serving troughers of the major parties.

Bricks And Mortar Tyrant

The word freedom is bandied about recklessly. Have human beings ever truly been free? Even now self hating white middle class guilt trippers blether about the evils of slavery as though the slave trade was an invention of Europeans in the 17th century when in fact it had been around since the beginnings of civilisation. But despite all the posturing and finger pointing are millions of peoplenot living as slaves

Labour home Secretary Announces The Death Of Free Speech.
As a Labour minister announces right wing shock jock Micael Savage is banned from Britain only a few weeks after a similar ban was imposed on Dutch politician Geert Wilders, The Daily Stirrer asks have Labour declared a wart on free speech?

Education: How Shite Are SATS Tests
We have had a discussion going on over on Little Nicky Machiavelli about the validity of SATS test, the government's pestilential league tables and the teachers' threat to boycott them. So how...

Donkeys Banned From Playing Basketball
News from America via (The Daily Telegraph): Donkeys are oppressed by new law.
Boggart Blog legal affairs correspondent A Cheever Looophole reports:

Surprise! Sex Does Not Sell Computer Games.
You might think computer games are one of the most obvious examples that the adage "sex sells" is not just an advertising industry cliche but a universal truth. Not so, sex does not actually sell computer games - at least not if it is the kind of sex that involves real woment or even realistic looking avatars.

American Government To Offer Three Flu Jabs This Autumn
Citizen Wells reports that over in America, as The daly Stirrer predicted will happen in Britain, the Swine Flue scare has been turned into a big spendfest of taxpayers money by government and another handout by stealth for the dark forces of...

Holy Hibernation Batman
Have the caped crusaders been beaten at last? Will a new disease than has been wiping out bat colonies across America and led to all Bat Caves being closed and boarded up finally put the Dynamic Duo out of action and left the streets of Gotham City without protection from the mendacious miscreants who prey on honest citizens? And what will happen when the disease wiping out bats jumps to humans? It's another opportunity for the government to spread Fear and Panic. Boggart Blog Central
Lend An Ear While I Tell Of Van Goch
As a new theory about the fate of the severed ear of artist Vincent Van Goch emerges, Boggart Blogger Ian R Thorpe reexamines the whole bizarre case of the severing of Van Goch's ear. Did the artist cut off his own lug'ole as previously thought or was it, as the new theory suggests removed by fellow artist Gaugin. And why did Van Goch give his ear to a prosttute?

Hugging An African Does Not Help
As theHollywood and New York glitterati turn the volume up to eleven of their shriekophonic charity appeal amplifier in response to news that guess what, the recession hitting the west so hard means Africa needs shitloads on our money. But is aid a good thing. Ian R. Thorpe for The Daily Stirrer reviews a book by African economist Dambesa Moyo that suggests western aid is counter productive.

Conspiracy Theory Of The Month - Dumbing Down
Ian Thorpe.

humour, satire education, politics, war

The Conspiracy Theory of the Month feature kicks off with Dumbing Down. A stupid population is a compliant population so what better way for the New World Order brigade to strip people of their rights, liberties and the ability to think for themselves than by first ...

A Generation Of Losers
As the teachers finally stage a rebellion against thedespised tests and targets the government are so obsessed with Daily Stirrer education expert Sally Redfern lambasts an education policy obsessed with centralisation and control freakery at the expense of childrens' futures. The boycott of the SATS tests next year will plunge the system into chaos and could close schools. Another resounding triumph for New Labour then.
Hate Crimes Law - Another Step Towards Fascism?

A new law defining hate crimes passed in the USA this week violates the constitution according to its critics. It threatens the right to free speech and in allowing more severe penalites to be imposed if a crime is ajudged a hate crime than if the same crime had been commited without hatred on grounds of race, religion or sexual orientation being part of the motive. This clearly breaches the first of the US constitution's "self evident" truths, that all people are equal.

Moving to Manchester? BBC Are Mad For it? How will the elitist, champagne socialist BBC media types cope with the move to Salford Quays. Will the BBC chance Manchester or will Manchester change the BBC. Our money is on Manchester.

The Lazy Pulpils Examination Aid.
Critics of Labour';s Education policy have said for many years dumbing down has gone too far. The idea reported in this article from Boggart Blog's archives suggests the Deparytment of Education have really crossed the line now.

The Power Of Punctuation
After being in decline for a number of years good grammar and punctuation are making a comeback. Not in schools as one might hope, the National Curriculum is still driven by trendy academic theory and Politically Correct Thinking, but more people in adult life are finding out that being able to communicate well through the spoken and written word is an ever more valuable career development tool than a University degree.

Tale Of The Easter Bunny
Ian Thorpe.
Greenteeth is a rather irreligious organisation, we believe that gods, like laws are created by humans and only nature can reveal the truth. Having said that, there are many ways to the truth and we would not deny that Christianity, Islam, Judaeism, Zoroastrianism, Hinduism and all the other religions, one stripped of dogma to offer something to people whose personalities incline them towards ritual. Buddhism BTW is excluded from the list as it is not a religion but a belief system.

Sarko Wants To Emulate The Stink That Was Rome
Sarko Wants To Emulate The Stink That Was Rome.
Ian R Thorpe

All politicians lose the plot eventually with the exceptions perhaps of Tony Blair, Margaret Thatcher and Barack (I’m President of the whole Universe and everything else besides) Obama all of whom were barking mad on assuming office...

Cameron. Clegg and Lumley CLICK HERE
I know they sound like a legal practice in Barnoldswick but Conservative leaders David Cameron, the Liberal Democrats Nick “Shagger” Clegg and Joanna (Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous) Lumley, still looking absolutely fabulous at sixty something, have been collaboration to embarrass Gordon Brown. Shifty Gordon had tried to shaft the Gurkas, those Nepalese regiments that for historic reasons are part of the British Army. The Gurkas have been asking quite politely for the right to settle in Britain after serving the nation for twenty years in...

Swine Flu: Crisis Or Conspiracy
The world seems to get more insane every day. Mainstream media in developed nations have in the past few days become frantic in their efforts to spread Fear and Panic. Why? Because of an outbreak of a new variant influenza virus that has so far infected a few thousand people and killed, up to now, around 150...

Ramsay's Very Own Kitchen nightmare

Anti Ageing Properties of Any Old Gloop Scientifically Proved.
by Ian R Thorpe
On seeing in the news today that began with the words Boots’ anti-ageing treatment my first reaction was to turn the page and look for something funny in the Swine Flu coverage. A product to keep boots in pristine condition is probably very welcome to some people but I wear trainers and would have no use for it.

Pissed Pensioners Are A Social Blight
There is an ever growing tendency in government to stick their noses into the everyday detail of people's daily lives. Nowhere has this been more apparent than in the case of The Pissed Pensioners. Despite the governmen'ts repeated dire warnings about the effects of drinking on health and the cost to health services of drinking related illness a lot of pensioners still like to enjoy the occasional glass of beer or wine. And the pokenose bureaucrats intend to put a stop to it. Read full post

BBselect 006
Another Boggart Blog Archive filled with humour and satire from Britain's top comedy bloggers. No topic is off limits and styles range from subtle irony and cruel parody to surreal silliness

Education, Education, Education
Is education all it's cracked up to be. Ian Thorpe thinks not and explains why in this article about the pretensions of science, the naivete of graduates with university degrees and the realities of the jobs market.

Oi Canada; Get Orf Our Laaand!
Many British tourists take holidays on the beautiful coast of Northumbria and visitors from overseas flock to it's Viking coast to see the historic sites that abound. Imagine the surprise of people who travel to the familiar location this year only to find the coast has migrated to Alberta, Canada. We can understand Alberta's envy, they have oil sands where Northumbria has sandy beaches. But do the Canadian tourist Office really think visitors hoping to visit the sites of battles between the Britush and Viking raiders are not going to be disappointed with a ride through the oil sands excavations on the Alberta Steam Railway?
[Boggart Blog ]...[ Comedy ] ... [ Daily Stirrer ] ... [greenteeth] It's comforting to know Conservatives are still obnoxious.
Social housing is newspeak for council housing crows a blogger. A council house tenant is to a Tory as a jew is to a nazi says the Daily Stirrer in this analysis that shows as Labour go into meltdown that we cannot believe the Conservatives claims that thy are now the cuddly, compassionate party... [ Daily Stirrer ]...[ humanitas ]

Alistair Darling's Buds Of May
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May says Shakespeare's sonnet but will Alistair Darling'd Budget survive the rough winds of ridicule. This satire compares the chancellors attempts to get the economy back on track to the futility of the Large Hadron Collider experiment in that the people in charge of the experiment do not really know what they are trying to do... [Boggart Blog ]

Breakfast With The Apprentices
The Apprentice rolls on oblivious of the budget, Britain's Got Talent and Barack Obama. Some might suggest that is because it was recorded several months ago but we at Boggart Blog would never stoop so low as to suspect Surrealan of being involved in such a deception. Trust us the programme goes out live in real time and is not edited at all. Next week's task for The Apprentices is to convince sceptics that pigs really can fly.

Vaccine hysteria or healthy Sceticism
Since the death from cervical cancer of Jade Goody the big pharma - compulsory vaccine chorus has been on full volume. but the usual doubts are being expressed about serious side effects from the HPV vaccine

Mainstream Media Fights Back
The Evil Empire seem to think if they annonce the death of mainstream media often enough it will become truth. As Associated Press move against Google and other internet news aggregators that use print and broadcast media content without paying are we about to see a fightback by the content creators?

The Race To Civil Unrest
The election of Barack Obama to the US Presidency was bound to have a negative effect on race relation all around the developed world, not just in the USA. Here The Daily Stirrer which brings you the best, most controversial opinion and comment on the web takes issue with a writer who complains that developed nations are not doing enough to preserve the cultural differences of minorities while helping them integrate. The complaint is a case of wanting to have your cake and eat it, a classic position of the race industry and the politically correct thought police.

Driving Tests Will Be The Death Of Many
Anxious as ever to cover up their absolute cluelessness about how to deal with anything the government has resorted to the old ploy of trying to look as if they are doing a lot about everything.
Fresh from their successes is looking as if they intend to deal with binge drinking, anti - social behaviour, the credit crunch, immigration, education, discumknockeration, death of bees, diseases of knees, greedy bankers, Conservative wankers and galloping mange and climate change, New Labour have this week turned their attention to
READ full post at Boggart Blog

Ramsay's Very Own Kitchen Nightmare
Reality tv supershef Gordon Ramasay who preaches the doctrine of "fresh food prepared and cooked on the premises" is hoist by his own petard as restaurants in one of his chains are caught serving boil in ther bag meals...Read Full Post or go to Boggart Blog for all our satirical blog posts

Sarky Sarko Slams World Leaders t had to happen. That giant ego was never going to remain contained in such a small, slender body for long. The real Nicolas Sarkozy has at last burst out in all his Gallic superiority and thoroughly slagged his fellow world leaders...

Trial Of Transylvanian Has To be Halted.
The trial of a Transylvanian man who stands accused of causing Grievous Bodily Harm had to be postponed earlier this week as Bristol Crown Court was closed when the buildings were permeated by an overpowering smell of garlic...

General Motors New Puma Is Not What It Sounds Like
Recession always brings out the worst in inventors it seems. Remember the Sinclair C5, the best joke of the early 1980s recession? We were told petrol prices would go through the roof, the government would tax drivers off the roads and...

Stupid Evolution
Religious fundamentalists claim evolution is only a theory and God's creation is far too beautiful to have happened by accident. The repulsive lifestyle of The Gulper Eel proves it isn't

A Sense Of Self
How do we stop commercial pressures stripping us of our identity and retain a sense of self in these times when we are what we own, our personalities are expressed through badges and T shirt slogans and our cellphone ring tone says as much about us as the books we read?

Improvised Explosive Pies
Boggart Blog prides itself on being first to bring you news of the latest developments in the food of terror war currently being waged by our gallant security forces on the purveyors of exploding gravy, dangerous cheese, corrosive sauce and sausages...

Britain’s Got Nutters
Britain’s Got Talent reappeared on our television screens last night, setting out to prove that real talent is scarce but what Britain does have in abundance is mentalists.
The nutters are what the show is all about really so in the early rounds anyone who...

If you enjoyed this, share it with others.
delicious magnolia mixx pulsetaggeddigg

Top Of PageThe Daily StirrerMore ComedyHomeBoggart Blog CentralA Tale Told By An Idiot