Engaged To Tony Blair - No Thanks.
Ian R. Thorpe
2009-09-08
We apologise for once again reminding out more sensitive readers of the continued Cthulhu-like existence of Tony Blair who is alive and well and living up the Pope's rectum, but we fear Blair is trying to reimpose himself on the political life of our nation. With the Lisbon treaty likely to be ratified before Cameron's Cohorts can seize power and make Daniel Hannan Minister For Europe, the contender for the Presidency of the EU are stating to limber up
Blair has always fancied being President of Europe and as he cannot now be President Of The Whole Universe And Everything Else Besides because an even bigger megalomaniac, Barack Obama has elected himself to that job the slimy one is setting out his stall by going for the Catholic vote.
As the only impartial and objective news organ remaining Boggart Blog feels it is our duty to report what the slimy git is up to.
Blair, on being accepted into the Catholic Church, which quite frankly is so hard up for punters they'd accept Rose West and Josef Fritzl, Blair has launched www.tonyblairfaithfoundation.org. He always envied George W Bush's army of brainwashed supporters and, deluded psycho that he is, he though he could persuade the British voters to support his more insane schemes by talking to us about God. Now he can use his status as the self proclaimed Nu-St. Anthony to talk to Catholics. We reported a few days ago his speech about poverty and humility given to poor, humble Catholics in Sardinia as he took shore leave from his holiday on the five decked luxury yacht of multi - billionaire Larry Ellison.
Now Blair has published an article currently being syndicated in the world's press. Do any of you still say The Illuminati are just a conspiracy theory? The aim of the article, published by www.tonyblairfaithfoundation.org is to persuade us insignificant little people that Tony Blair is the only good and noble person in the world and the rest of us are despicable, selfish little shits. Well maybe he did not put it quite like that. The problem, according to St. Tony of The City is that we do not go to Church or listen to God's Suck Up Artist On Earth, St. Tony. Because of this dereliction of our duty we have lost our faith. The world can only be saved from catastrophe if we all embrace faith and surrender the power to think for ourselves in order to allow www.tonyblairfaithfoundation.org to tell us what we must do.
Though the article took up five inches across three columns in my newspaper of choice I considered it my duty to read and report on the whole thing. Unfortunately it consisted of such unmitigated, patronising, self aggrandising shite I vomited all over my paper before I was halfway down the first column.
Yo Blair!
Off he main topic, Labour MP Jackie Ashley asked yesterday does the country really want a Conservative government that will dismantle the BBC and replace it with a Murdoch controlled Fox - News International media monopoly?
Excuse us but wasn't it the aforementioned Blair who cut the deal with Murdoch to undermine the dear old BBC in return for News International's despicable populist rags delivering the support that put Nu - Lab in power with an unchallegeable majority.
And is it not Nu - Lab, currently whining about what the Tories will do to the NHS, that has gone further towards creating a privatised health system than even Margaret Thatcher dared.
Just sayin'
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