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Scientists Announce Another Breakthrough In Hogwash


Scientists are very fond of announcing new scientific breakthroughs that will bring enormous benefits to humankind. We rarely see the benefits though. So what's the agenda, are they just soliciting research grants?

Scientists Announce Another Breakthrough in Hogwash
by Ian R Thorpe
2009-11-04
CREATIVE COMMONS: Attribute, Non commercial, no derivs. KEYWORDS: science, scientists, research, religion, health

The Daily Stirrer's predecessor Little Nicky Machiavelli first brought the idiocies of the boy scientists to the attention of the world.It is several years now since Little Nicky reported the activities of these people who are so geeky, so fanatical about all things scientific they behave like religious fundamentalists when responding to anybody who questions the dogmas of their science God or ridiculed their ludicrous assumption that all things must be "scientific" and their mision was to rid the world of superstition so we could all live scientifically. Naturally, given his inexhaustible tolerance and bottomless ability to suffer fools gladly Little Nicky soon established a warm and caring relationship with the serried ranks of scientific fuckwits. The battles with the boy scientists was always popular with the majority of readers who find scientists creepy, patronising and so far up their own arses they can scratch their heads from the inside so no surprise perhaps that this publication now resumes the role of agent provocateur in goading the religion of science (Little Nicky used to call it The Church Of Scienceology so cultish was their clone like behaviour) with a post of another science scam, a crude and inept attempt to spread fear and panic in order to railroad the government into pumping huge amounts of money into attempts to create human / animal hybrid embryos.

The scientists misrepresent their case as always, suggesting that hybrid embryo research is somehow an essential part of the stem cell research program. It is not. Stem cell research, while raising some complex ethical questions does hold out the hope of leading to successful preventative therapies and possibly cures for a number of serious diseases and conditions. Creating hybrids offers nothing more than intellectual games for expensively educated idiots who, deprived of their sinecures in ancient Universities, would be terminally unemployable.

As Parliament prepares to debate the issue “scientists” have sought to obfuscate the issue by announcing a totally bogus “breakthrough” in the search for a treatment for Parkinson’s disease.

The boy – scientists behinds this, whose enthusiasm for all things scientific completely obliterates their capacity for self criticism, tell us they have developed a new technique to extract skin cells from the tails of mice with Parkinson’s disease, remove the nuclei from these cells and inject them into egg cells from which the nuclei have been removed.....hang on? Mice with effing Parkinson’s disease? How do we know a mouse has Parkinson’s disease? Its like the autistic fruit flies Sarah Palin referred to in scoring points of scientific fuckwittery during the 2008 US election campaign. Mrs Palin may be the dumbest woman to get into national politics but she is not as dumb as the boy scientists. What behaviour identifies an autistic fruitfly? Getting tetchy when another fly lands on their turd? Banging their head on a window for hours on end?

People who have Parkinson’s disease tend to tremble a lot. Mice, the wee cowering, sleekit, Tim'rous beasties of Robert Burns’ poem, tremble a lot because it is their nature to do so. What is a symptom in people who have Parkinson’s disease is perfectly natural in mice, the nature of the beast as it were.

I’m being sarcastic of course, in order to highlight how the boy – scientists disguise the bogus nature of their claims. Read about the Parkinson’s disease “breakthrough” and we find it is hedged around with words and phrases like maybe, might, perhaps, possibly, at some point in the future, after further investigation.

This of course is the language of thousands of “scientific breakthroughs”; in the treatment of cancer, diabetes, cardiovascular problems and the common cold.

Somehow, despite the millions of taxpayers money pumped into “further research” seldom produces any benefit to patients.

In the academic world these breakthrough stories may pass for science, in the real world such techniques are known as “flying a kite.”

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